What is the Cause of Your Relational Battles?

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 Dear Diary,

Have you ever fought relational battles (battles with your relatives and friends - non-romantic relationships)? More than likely you have - I believe people have fought at least one of these battles in their lifetime. I feel like I have been fighting these battles all my life but I now have a different perspective on them.

Before I share my current thoughts on this new perspective, I would like to give you a little background on some of my battles. Growing up, I was always compared to others, I was always told to be like others, I was made to believe that I was not good enough and that I would not amount to anything. I tried my hardest to prove myself, I tried to make others see that I am perfectly imperfect just the way that I am, I tried my hardest to make others see that the thought of me that they had in their heads is not me - but nothing seemed to work. Do you know that feeling? Where was all that animosity coming from? Why can't people be accepted just the way they are?

I fought my way through my teenage years into adulthood. “Okay...I am an adult now, I do not need to entertain what I don’t want to entertain. I am setting boundaries and I am going to try my hardest to forgive those who have wronged me.” Gosh, that sounded way easier than it was. It was not easy but with the help of God, the possibilities were endless. I am happy and I am at peace. I now know who I am and Whose I am. I am so loved by God to the point where He sent His only begotten Son to die for me. I cannot even fathom sending my child to die for Me but God did that. My mindset changed and I began to realize that it does not matter what people say or their perception of me. What matters is who God says I am.  

The relational battles came back and they brought a friend - battlefield of the mind. Like you, I thought they were long gone. However, they are like a bad cold that refuses to leave no matter the treatment. Little did they know that I now have the antidote. I was complaining - yes, you heard right. I was complaining to God about how I felt. “Why can’t I be seen for who I am? I get that I am different from other people! Shouldn’t that be okay? Why do people paint negative pictures of others without even getting to know them? This is frustrating!!” Furthermore, I am not trying to win the favor and approval of men, nor am I seeking to please someone. If I were still trying to be popular with men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10, paraphrase with emphasis). After my complaining, I was reminded of Ephesians 6:12, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ding, ding!! The battles that I have been fighting are spiritual. I know the calling on my life and quite frankly the devil knows too. So, for a very long time, he tried to deter me from my calling with the rollercoaster madness. I do not like drama; I love my relatives and friends; I am stepping into my calling and the devil also knows that too. So, like any great player, he stirs the pot and throws in the people and things I care the most about.

Now that I know all of this, it is only right that I get in battle formation and put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:13). This war is spiritual; therefore, I have to attack it as such. I cannot throw a tantrum because I walk not after the dictates of the flesh but that of the spirit. I also need to remember that I am a new creature. As 2 Corinthians 5:17, AMP lays it out, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].” Going forward, I am going to take up my positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give to me because the battle is not mine, it is the Lord’s (2 Chronicles 20:15-17).

In life, we will not be on everyone’s good side. Sometimes we will be talked about and disliked just for the mere fact that we breathe. But - don’t be discouraged because you are loved unconditionally by God who is willing to fight for you. So...the battles that you are fighting, kindly put on the whole armor of God and watch Him fight for you. You doing it on your own is like an ant going out to battle a herd of elephants. Wow, that image is not beautiful and I do not believe you want all that trampling. Also remember that with the Lord, “A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee” (Psalms 91:7). Whatever and whoever will not come near you. Live, love, laugh, forgive, set healthy boundaries, and offer grace and compassion when needed. The battle is not Yours, it is the Lord’s.


Love,

Christian Girl

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